Archive Page 2

Wow Day

03Aug08

I have 3 Wows to give out today.

  • WhyNot.net: I was Googling to see if anyone else was curious about using active noise-cancelling techniques for turning down the volume (in some sense) on babies. There are serious technical challenges (such as that current noise-cancelling devices target a point sink), but it’s a cool idea and even if you could get a 50% effective system, it would be immensely useful. And profitable. Anyway, Google turned this up. It’s a bit disappointing that this is another idea that someone’s already thought of, but on the other hand it’s cool to be able to read the comments and see useful extensions (eg, this would be a godsend for snorers’ spouses). The website’s like a catalogue of people’s if-onlys and what-ifs — a goldmine for potential entrepreneurs.

  • BookMooch: This one has me seriously excited. I have a bunch of books that I have to lug every time I change flats. I really like most of them but haven’t really picked them up since I first read them. BookMooch is a community of people just like that who are happy to exchange books with each other. Last night, for instance, I got online and listed the 20 or so books I’m willing to give away, and requested a math book that someone in Illinois has. This morning, my inbox had an ‘accepted’ message from the Illinois dude and 4 requests for my books (one from New Zealand!). You might argue sending the book to NZ will pretty much offset whatever money I saved by getting the math book for free, but there’s a larger point here: this is far more efficient than stockpiling books that one never reads. And in return, I get access to a pool of books that might not be available in local bookstores, or even be out of print. Of course, countries like Pakistan have a very active second-hand book market where one can often exchange books with minimal friction/costs so this might prove less useful, but here in the UK, the second-hand book scene is much more limited. There’s an analogy to zakat (and more specifically, keeping money circulating in the economy) taking shape in my head that I think is appropriate; also, it appeases my burgeoning sense of eco- and anti-consumerist responsibility.

  • The final Wow will be shared between coLinux and andLinux. coLinux compiled the Linux kernel to run on Windows, where it’s hosted as a guest operating system with virtualised access to your hardware. It’s a really cool idea and its performance is pretty impressive. I haven’t run anything really heavy (ie, OpenOffice), but the things I have run (Perl, Octave, Vim) run superbly well on my Centrino 1.6/1.25GB. The caveat in that last sentence isn’t even that much of a problem for me, since I already have MS Office and am not interested in OO. andLinux built on the coLinux base to provide an easily installable package (2 packages actually: KDE (!) and XFCE). Installation was light and problem-free, and now I can install any additional packages I want with Synaptic. Unlike VMWare, I don’t start the VM manually, and while idle the resource consumption is completely unnoticeable. I have a nice auto-hiding XFCE bar from which I can bring up a terminal or launch the file explorer and that’s that. Linux the way I always wanted it: on my terms, and as I need it.

BTW, my laptop is falling apart. Seriously: it’s cracked in two places, scratched all over, the palmrests are a little worn down, and now the USB and power ports are starting to get loose. It’s lasted 4 years without a single hitch though, which I think is serious testament to how solid Fujitsu machines are.

Whoa.

16Jul08

Check this out. I need more time to process it (and read up on most of them)…but whoa. And there’s our man Aitzaz Ahsan at #5!

(Obligatory disclaimer: I don’t trust Aitzaz Ahsan for a minute.)

Thoughts on Kobe

05Jul08

A certain someone isn’t going to stop badgering me until I say something about the Lakers’ recent loss in the NBA finals, so here goes.

I’ve been defending Kobe more or less since 2000 now. I’ve never been a full-on fanboy, but in a sport populated by egotistical megalomaniacs, I admired his rabid desire to win, and most importantly the pressure he put on himself to excel. His detractors argued this was just a manifestation of his ego, that he was only interested in bolstering his legacy; I didn’t care, as long as he won.

And that’s why this hurts. It’s not the first time Kobe’s lost in the Finals (2004, when he, along with Shaq, Payton and Malone managed to lose to the Pistons), but it is the first time that he’s the sole leader of a team that has been bounced out of the Finals. He was frequently doubled by the best defensive team in the league, but that’s not a good enough excuse. His teammates absolutely disappeared, but after doing enough to get Kobe to the Finals, they can’t be blamed. The Finals are when the Jordans of the game take over and deliver victories, no matter how or what or why or who. It’s only fair that Kobe is the face of the team when they’re winning and when they’re losing. We demand that of our Jordans just as well.

The thing is, Jordans, plural, don’t exist. There was one Jordan, an icon who fortuitously came along at that period between eras where destiny offers individuals the opportunity to immortalise themselves. Magic and Bird were winding down, and the league had no one to rival the sheer athleticism and bloody-mindedness of Jordan. The two ingredients did exist, but separately, in the Drexlers and Isiahs of the world. True, the rules were tighter and players were more skilled, but a little thought reveals these facts cut both ways.

Maybe that’s why, in retrospect, I’m not all that surprised Kobe lost. He’s never been Jordan, not since he was drafted at the unlucky thirteen spot by a team he refused to play for. Not when he was labelled a copycat rather than an iconoclast as Jordan was. Not when forced to be second banana for several years, and having to learn leadership at 26 when Jordan started learning at 21. Not in being reviled by the public for an accusation that was later dropped where Jordan’s indiscretions (which many claim equalled Kobe’s) were carefully handled by Stern. Not in playing before people were willing to replace their basketball god, Jordan. And not in playing in a league where the level of athleticism has caught up to the point that other than Dwight Howard and Lebron, no one has an outright athletic advantage over others.

No, Kobe is not Jordan. But Kobe is Kobe, a guy who has conquered all the odds and the roadblocks fortune has thrown his way, willing himself into a position where the comparisons with Jordan, that most untouchable combination of talent and destiny, have at times not been unreasonable.

That’s saying something. That’s saying there’s good reason to keep watching as Kobe plots and attacks this latest roadblock to his only goal: winning.

Protected: Staying Awake

12Jun08

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Growing Up

10Jun08

Confirmation that maturity is a journey, not a destination. Or something.

AE: Dude, big changes.
Me: ?
AE: You remember I said I have this paralysing fear of whether I was good enough? Like fretting at work about people thinking I’m no good, etc.?
Me: Yes, distinctly :)
AE: Well, it’s gone.
Me: Wow. That’s huge, man…you should be proud of yourself.
AE: Not so fast…it’s been replaced by a paralysing fear that I’m completely delusional.

What I don’t like about sports writing

24Apr08

I don’t like sports writers. I don’t like the contrived soundbites they convey, the cliched storylines they create, the false drama they so carefully cultivate. I don’t like the fact that most of them have no real qualifications, but a few years on the circuit gives them the title of ‘expert’ and, for example, allows ESPN.com to charge us for reading their hallowed opinions.

What really rankles me, though, is the quality of writing. Spot my problems with this paragraph:

But the principles they are now employing eventually may be considered the new “LeBron Rules.”

The Wizards are playing rough, invoking the Detroit “Bad Boys” on more than one occasion and not saying they’re sorry for knocking James on his backside as much as possible. Have other teams tried to send messages to James with hard fouls before? Sure. But not to this level and with this much apparent conspiracy, according to the man himself.

“I’ve been put on the floor before, but it has been a little different this year,” James said. “Hard fouls happen, but this is a difference.”

I bet you’re thinking I’m pissed off at Mr. Windhorst regurgitating the tired notion of “<Insert superstar’s name here> Rules”, a pointless multiplication of a single idea: to knock said superstar down as many times as possible. No, although his perpetual effort to parallel LeBron with Michael Jordan is transparent even to the blind; what bothers me is the simultaneous elevation of LeBron to hero status and the verbatim quote, which underscores his shortcomings off the basketball court.

(And let’s be clear, LeBron can’t plead Ebonics here — that sentence is just plain wrong.)

This isn’t an isolated incident, particularly given how poorly-spoken today’s sports superstars are. And that Mr. Windhorst is trying to convey LeBron’s thoughts exactly as he expressed them is hardly surprising given that he is a journalist. The problem is that raining hosannas upon LeBron’s head even as he is shown to be committing verbal faux pas galore (and without hesitation and without remorse — without even realising what the problem is!) is exactly why English, the language, sits on a slippery slope today. A slippery slope whose gradient we are ever-increasing by irresponsibly (even if it’s inadvertent) communicating that savaging English is OK.

Understand this isn’t a moral issue to me: I’m not talking about what we’re teaching our kids, I’m saying that the quality of the English we see and hear around us, on TV and in newspapers, is more or less the zenith of what we ourselves aspire to and will ultimately attain. So returning to the point, Mr. Windhorst and others like him would do well to either cut out the hero-worship and present their subjects as normal human beings rather than ideals that we should all admire and dream of emulating in all things, or employ the same artistic license they so happily abuse while serving up cliches and edit their subjects’ soundbites. For the sake of their subjects. And us all.

(Note that I feel bad about hammering Mr. Windhorst this way when more or less all media types are to blame. But I’m sure he understands I’m not trying to target him. And that this problem is bigger than us all. <Cue ‘Gladiator’ theme.>)

Shikwa

24Mar08

Watch this:

And the second part:

It’s quite remarkable. A tangent to my own confusion and complaints, but fascinating and insightful nevertheless. My favourite couplet is this, the fulcrum of the poem:

Even then you grumble, we are false, untrue,
If you call us faithless, tell us what are you?

From a historical point of view, it’s probably amazing that the Allama was able to get away with writing that (I know he got flak; I’m surprised he wasn’t shot).

Having said all that, I’m a bit disappointed with it. The poem is equal parts complaint and plea, with the purpose of both being for God to (re-)reveal himself to his believers. The real questions are never posed, a shortcoming that’s probably natural: the world Allama lived in was steeped in faith, whereas our perspective is coloured by the atheistic rationalism the world is currently exploring.

How many LSE staffers does it take to change a light bulb?

12Jan08

Honestly, I’ve had it up to here with the nincompoop-edness of LSE administrative folks. I’ve been waiting for my degree certificate since my December 18 graduation ceremony (which I didn’t attend). I assumed that graduates would have been handed their certificates there but it turned out that wasn’t the case, so I waited a couple of weeks until the Christmas and New Year holidays were over and then gave the Registrar’s Office a call, only to be redirected to the University of London because they’re the ones who issue the certificates.

Of course, the UoL sent me back to LSE because they have to send a list of names and degree classifications for the certificates to be issued. LSE told me the staffer responsible wasn’t in that day and that I should send her an email. I asked for her phone number and tried calling her several times over the next couple of days, but of course never got through.

At this point, I was getting sick of the whole process, so I took a couple of hours off work and went down to the LSE Student Services office to see someone in person and get it taken care of. After a fifteen minute wait in the queue (keep in mind this is the beginning of January, before classes have started…and that there was a staffer sitting at the counter browsing the ‘net while people were waiting), the staffer there told me that they absolutely couldn’t do anything to send the names early. I explained that I needed it for a visa application and asked her what she recommended, which predictably was that I get a transcript and a letter on LSE letterhead.

I could see I wasn’t getting anywhere so I politely said OK and asked her if she could have that prepared ASAP. Err…no. There’s a process, she explained to me as she handed me a glossy brochure and underlined the email address I would have to send the request to. I tried not to give her a dirty look as I asked her how long it would take. The answer, predictably, was 5 business days. At this point I was getting really pissed off, so with a level voice I said, “Look I don’t mean to be rude, but is there anything you guys can prepare for me anytime soon?” She was momentarily (but very visibly) taken aback but then recovered to try and feed me the “process” line again, adding that “we have a lot of students”. Right, and what I’m asking you to do is infinitely more complicated than pulling up my file and pushing a button to print a standard piece of paper.

I thanked her (a little gruffly) and went back to the office and sent an email to the address she had underlined. A few minutes later I got an auto-reply telling me I should request the transcript through their web-based system (“Look, we have the internets and we’re so cool!”). I knew that the email I had sent would eventually be read by a human being (who would hopefully have the sense to print out the transcript instead of being a smug turd), but I thought I should have a try with the web-based system as well; of course it threw an error and I wasn’t able to order them that way.

That was Wednesday. On Friday afternoon I learned that the human readers of my email were, in fact, smug turds: an email arrived telling me to use the online transcript ordering system.

You would think that for the more-than-10k fee international students pay for an LSE degree, they would have the decency to accommodate an urgent request. Apparently, they don’t.

The KSE bounces back

03Jan08

wow, what a surprise. So I guess we all really are as fickle and callous as I suggested in my last post. The good news from the article is:

Pakistani stocks are cheap and still worth holding in spite of political uncertainty, Merrill Lynch & Co.’s chief Asian strategist Mark Matthews said in an interview yesterday.

The country’s shares on average trade at 10 times reported earnings with a dividend yield of 6 percent, Matthews said, citing Merrill Lynch data. That’s compared with “consensus” valuations for Vietnamese stocks of 20 times, he said.

The Bhutto saga continues

01Jan08

…and now the backlash has begun. DM sent me this really interesting article called ‘The Prodigal Daughter’ (capitalisation mine, because apparently newspapers can’t afford the extra ink).

Written by an Oxford contemporary, Vir Sanghvi, the first half is a really fascinating summary of Ms. Bhutto’s personality and her activities at Oxford. The PPP media machine has drilled her resume into our heads — KGS, Harvard, Oxford, President of the Debating Union, one of the youngest PMs ever, first woman leader in a Muslim country — but in my experience it is rare to find first-hand accounts or opinions of what exactly it is that she’s done. For example, I never knew that she had finished at Oxford when she became President, nor that it was after several failed attempts, nor that her debating skills were in fact considered mediocre at best. And where the PPP stops, BBC and CNN happily take over, reminding us how she would ‘hold forth for hours in her native Urdu language to huge, often frenzied crowds’ (no matter the liberties she took with it, and them). All this ignores the biggest fudge of all: that her father, the Original Bhutto, was directly responsible for much of the mayhem and carnage of the 70s.

In the latter half of the article, the author considers — from a very pronounced Indian point-of-view — Ms. Bhutto’s political achievements. His view is that she was never bogged down by ideology or principle, but was simply an opportunist looking to gain her father’s approval and history’s good graces. It’s a little simplistic, but given how oligarchical Pakistani politics is, with its shroud of secrecy and the power derived from being in-the-know, it’s not surprising that this is what the rest of the world sees. Unfortunately here the article begins to devolve into a vague rant on Pakistan’s politics, as they pertain to India.

The last few days have forced a closer examination of where we as a nation are. Mr. Sanghvi’s article, and others like it, paint a bleak picture far removed from the optimism that Mr. Musharraf and his erstwhile PM, Shaukat Aziz, display. In the course of his rule, the Pakistani economy has thrived by all metrics (the most popular being the stock market) and in some ways the cause of democracy has been furthered (namely by the institution of more effective local government); I’m willing to accept these as facts and won’t dispute them. The flip side, however, is equally clear. Exports and imports have increased apace, so that improvements in the former do not constitute a clear gain in and of themselves. Our external debt has increased from $34bn to $42bn at a time when Nigeria and Argentina have completely paid back equivalent loans. Our power and water planning remain in the doldrums, with serious electricity shortfalls predicted from 2009 on (by serious, I mean that industry will suffer as well). And any improvements in government have been offset by official backing of suspect parties such as the PML-Q, the JUI and most egregiously, the MQM.

In summary, Mr. Musharraf’s economic and political capital is finished. And it’s easy to argue that in clinging to power so determinedly, he has severely drained Pakistan’s as well. Any gains we made from sidling up to the US after 9/11 have been wasted. The monetary handouts that Mr. Sanghvi speaks of and that will forever be held over our heads were mostly loans at slightly preferential rates, not grants; Mr. Musharraf accepted them indiscriminately and used them to buy the economic improvements that he now touts. The formulaic ham-handedness with which economic resources and policy have been apportioned means that service industries such as banking are the cornerstone of this economic growth, which is worrying because history has shown these tertiary industries are byproducts of a thriving economy and not the other way around and also because banking in particular is well-recognised as an opportunistic trade that offers no guarantees and certainly no loyalty, personal or patriotic. This holds doubly for the stock market, which (for crying out loud!) is characterised by its fickleness and speculation. (I’m trying to find a link to an article I read where, after the 4.7% dip on Monday, an analyst said he expects the market will recover since the KSE is known to undergo such fluctuations.)

Simultaneously, the constant association of Pakistan’s name with that of the Taleban (created by Pakistan), Islamofascist terrorists (educated in Pakistan), Al Qaeda (directed from within Pakistan) and Osama (sheltered by Pakistan), means that our reputation — that ‘immortal part’ of us, as Cassio would have put it — has been shattered in a limelight we have invited and directed ourselves. Mr. Musharraf has said that the US would have bombed Pakistan if he had acted differently, but that does not excuse the fact that the aftermath has been grossly mismanaged, with Mr. Musharraf trying to leverage the danger of militancy to win support both externally and internally, all the while oblivious of the damage to Pakistan. Equally, it’s amazing that Mr. Musharraf hasn’t realised that the White House has been using Pakistan as a shield for their own missteps, particularly to distract the American people from the fact that the Taleban and Al Qaeda are monsters of their own making.

Ultimately though, my biggest worry is that Ms. Bhutto’s assassination might go down in history as Pakistan’s Martin Luther King moment. As Mr. Sanghvi’s meandering article concludes, this so-called champion of democracy was a dynast in her own party and her political achievements were few — and certainly outweighed by the charges levelled against her. We can ill-afford to be championed by such ideological lightweights.

At the end of the day, Benazir’s death is a tragedy in the way that the death of any Pakistani — any human — is a tragedy. And unwarranted praise is only as wrong as unfair vilification.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon.

“Incomplete calculations” in Excel Pivot tables

27Dec07

I’ve been working with Excel a lot these past few months. At least half my time these days is spent writing and running spreadsheets and interpreting the results I get from them. In many cases, I run a lengthy batch of calculations overnight and then have Excel produce a pivot table and save the results somewhere. This has forced me to learn some of the bizarre things Excel does (Banker’s rounding, anyone?), the most irritating of which has been this:

Incomplete Calculation

(The blacked out bit is just the name of my spreadsheet.)

That one is followed immediately by this:

Pivot table field name invalid

And what, pray, does that mean? Incomplete calculation? OK…except my workbook contains no calculations at all (I’m saving down only values and my pivot table — no formulas), and I get this error when refreshing my pivot table. Invalid field name? Clearly not — I can see the columns are correctly labelled and everything. Naturally, I ran the job by hand and tried refreshing the pivot table to see if I could reproduce the error. Nope. Google? Nope — nothing interesting there.

It turns out the problem is the fact that underlying a pivot table is a pivot cache. This is an Excel object that stores the actual representation of the table in memory and is saved down with your spreadsheet. My jobs would run the calculations, display the results and the pivot table, and then copy them to a fresh workbook in order to save them down. The problem was that I would then close the workbook where the calculations where actually performed: since the pivot table had been created in it, the pivot cache was stored in there, and since it wasn’t saved after the batch was complete (all the results were saved to a new sheet), the pivot cache was lost. So, what Excel was actually trying to say was that it no longer had an internal representation of the pivot table and therefore could not refresh it.

The solution was simply to change the order in which I did things: I now perform my calculations and display the results, and then copy them to a new workbook before producing the pivot table. In this way, the pivot cache is created in the workbook that is to be saved, and there’s no longer a problem.

Out of sight, out of mind

23Nov07

A couple of weeks ago, Newsweek’s cover proclaimed that Pakistan is the most dangerous country in the world. It was only mildly disturbing, since constant immersion in hostile media does tend to numb one’s senses.

I came across this wonderful article a few days ago. Every once in a while, an article comes by that scrapes the callouses off your brain and reminds you why you feel so strongly about your country. My country. My country.

(And reminds you why you feel so personally embarrassed by, and distraught at, the complete and blatant lack of integrity that allows our one-time rivals to casually brand us a failed state.)