I’ve come to realise I ramble. I don’t want to add irony to the situation with a lengthy analysis, I just want to say it’s not deliberate. There.
I turned 25 the day before yesterday. Like my 24th birthday, I didn’t tell too many people, and when it leaked out, I played it cool and told people I don’t celebrate it. Being a grouch comes naturally, of course, but the reason was a little more involved (and more obvious). Life’s been all about growth so far, and even though Ammi’s college-is-where-we-become-the-people-we-will-be-for-the-rest-of-our-lives advice was my motto throughout college, the day after graduation didn’t feel like the end of anything. No, there was excitement, there was opportunity, there were things to be done, to be achieved.
I can still see that excitement, but it’s not in me as much as it is in the undergraduates scurrying around campus. I’m a senior citizen, the guy who’s already become what he will be. And in that sense, I feel like I’m on the downhill part of the track. Hurtling headlong towards death, I’d say, if I wanted to be dramatic.
It doesn’t help of course that it seems most Muslims’ lives peak/settle in their mid-twenties. By that time, they’ve succumbed to society and nature and gotten married, and after that there’s little more than the biennial cycle of kids, kids, kids.
I should mention, BTW, that I’m not depressed. Just a little clearer about where I am than I was 2 days ago.
Anyway, in the interests of less rambling, I’m going to end this post here.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…
The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives,
Some of the most interesting 40-year olds I know still don’t!
- “Everybody’s Free”, Baz Luhrmann
I always love listening to that song - it is sage advice (coming from a commencement speech as it did… I forget what part of that is an urban myth, but it’s all good).
my other new motto: listen to “yeh watan tumhara hai” (watch, if you have internet access) and listen to the words every time you get cocky, get lost or get tired. do it.
happy birthday, btw. Will talk to you when you land. much love.
“I’m not depressed” - Could have fooled me. Plus I doubt that you near acheieving everything you will inshallah achieve. There are certain things that are true: You are doing your masters, you know what field you want to work, or atleast what field you have been working in so far but I doubt you have reached your potential in anything, and yes, that includes basketball. Take care and enjoy your vacation.